I have not been blogging for a while because I am always so inundated with work, and more work. Though I am penning this entry now, I am still very much occupied with lesson plans. When most of my friends or classmates have ALL their observations witnessed, I still have THREE more observations to go. Have I been procrastinating again?
Just hours ago, I glanced through the feedback given by my CTs, SCM and NSC on my previous teaching. Out of the 7, 2 were branded "acceptable" only. Am I really that bad? "Acceptable" means I have only applied SOME of the relevant competencies of the process appropriately, but with much hesitation. Huh?
For one observation on Science, I did not even get a "Proficient" from my CT. He sure has higher expectations than my SCM. When I asked him how I could improve myself to get a "Proficient" rating for all competencies, he said shyly that I was actually "there". He could not award me with any "Proficient" because if he did so, it would be very difficult to justify for better ratings for my upcoming final observation. Sigh!
Anyway, I was told by my CT that the actual criteria for a "Proficient" was almost IMPOSSIBLE for even her to achieve! When I started to think about it seriously, I felt disappointed and disgusted. Whether or not someone does an excellent job for his/her practicum greatly depends on his/her CTs.
Makes sense? The trainee may not be good but if the CTs are lenient and forgiving, and they understand the plight of his/her trainee and they still remember how they were like when they were still trainees, then the trainee may well receive better grades. I guess the opposite is more disappointing and soul and mind-torturing. If the trainee is good but crosses the path of his/her CTs, then he is unlikely to survive. Eh... what about an average trainee? The average trainee would be venting his frustration on his blog right now.
11.30 PM. I have relaxed enough. It is time for me to organise my thoughts and pack up my feelings. I still have many things to say but I am hard pressed for time now. I have not even talked about the many uncertainties that are plaguing me... Sigh. Maybe some other time... I just put in my best and see how it turns out...
Just hours ago, I glanced through the feedback given by my CTs, SCM and NSC on my previous teaching. Out of the 7, 2 were branded "acceptable" only. Am I really that bad? "Acceptable" means I have only applied SOME of the relevant competencies of the process appropriately, but with much hesitation. Huh?
For one observation on Science, I did not even get a "Proficient" from my CT. He sure has higher expectations than my SCM. When I asked him how I could improve myself to get a "Proficient" rating for all competencies, he said shyly that I was actually "there". He could not award me with any "Proficient" because if he did so, it would be very difficult to justify for better ratings for my upcoming final observation. Sigh!
Anyway, I was told by my CT that the actual criteria for a "Proficient" was almost IMPOSSIBLE for even her to achieve! When I started to think about it seriously, I felt disappointed and disgusted. Whether or not someone does an excellent job for his/her practicum greatly depends on his/her CTs.
Makes sense? The trainee may not be good but if the CTs are lenient and forgiving, and they understand the plight of his/her trainee and they still remember how they were like when they were still trainees, then the trainee may well receive better grades. I guess the opposite is more disappointing and soul and mind-torturing. If the trainee is good but crosses the path of his/her CTs, then he is unlikely to survive. Eh... what about an average trainee? The average trainee would be venting his frustration on his blog right now.
11.30 PM. I have relaxed enough. It is time for me to organise my thoughts and pack up my feelings. I still have many things to say but I am hard pressed for time now. I have not even talked about the many uncertainties that are plaguing me... Sigh. Maybe some other time... I just put in my best and see how it turns out...
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